Faculty and Staff: Domestic and Dating Violence

What is domestic violence?

Domestic violence is a pattern of abusive behavior in any relationship that is used by one partner to gain or maintain power and control over another intimate partner. Domestic violence can be physical, sexual, or psychological harm inflicted by a current or former intimate partner or spouse.

What is dating Violence?

Dating violence is characterized as controlling, abusive, and aggressive behavior in a romantic relationship. It can happen in straight or gay relationships. It can include verbal, emotional, physical, or sexual abuse, or a combination

Domestic and Dating Violence Facts:

Cycle of Abuse Diagram
  • One in every four women will experience domestic violence in her lifetime.
  • An estimated 1.3 million women are victims of physical assault by an intimate partner each year.
  • 85% of domestic violence victims are women.
  • Historically, females have been most often victimized by someone they knew.
  • Females who are 20–24 years of age are at the greatest risk of nonfatal intimate partner violence.
  • Most cases of domestic violence and dating violence are never reported to the police.

Read the Domestic Violence Fact Sheet (PDF)

The CDC's National Center for Injury Prevention and Control defines four main types of dating and domestic partner violence:

Physical violence is the intentional use of physical force (e.g., shoving, choking, shaking, slapping, punching, burning, or use of a weapon, restraints, or one's size and strength against another person) with the potential for causing death, disability, injury, or physical harm.

Sexual violence can be divided into three categories: (1) the use of physical force to compel a person to engage in a sexual act unwillingly, whether or not the act is completed; (2) an attempted or completed sexual act involving a person who, because of illness, disability, or the influence of alcohol or other drugs, or because of intimidation or pressure, is unable to understand the nature or condition of the act, decline participation, or communicate unwillingness to engage in the act; and (3) abusive sexual contact.

Threats of physical or sexual violence communicate the intent to cause death, disability, injury, or physical harm through the use of words, gestures, or weapons.

Psychological/emotional violence traumatizes the victim by acts, threats of acts, or coercive tactics (e.g., humiliating the victim, controlling what the victim can and cannot do, withholding information, isolating the victim from friends and family, denying access to money or other basic resources). In most cases, emotional violence has been preceded by acts or threats of physical or sexual violence.

Common warning signs of abuse (from BreaktheCycle.org):

  • Checking cell phones, emails, or social networks without permission
  • Extreme jealousy or insecurity
  • Constant belittling or put-downs
  • Explosive temper
  • Isolation from family and friends
  • Making false accusations
  • Erratic mood swings
  • Physically inflicting pain or hurt in any way
  • Possessiveness
  • Telling someone what to do
  • Repeatedly pressuring someone to have sex

What should I do if I feel I am being abused to stay safe?

  • If you are in immediate danger contact 911
  • Contact the police.
  • Consider getting a court order that tells the abuser to stay away from you
  • If you are on campus, contact campus security
  • Take threats seriously and act in a manner to protect your safety
  • Contact a crisis hotline, domestic violence or rape crisis program
  • Develop a safety plan which includes things like changing your routine and avoid traveling alone.
  • Tell important people in your life about the abuse including the police, your employer, family, friends, and neighbors.
  • Carry a cellphone at all times so you can call for help.
  • Develop a safety plan.

How am I going to feel?

  • Emotional shock and disbelief that this is happening
  • Embarrassment
  • Fear of what the abuser will do
  • Vulnerable and feeling unsafe
  • Fearful of trusting people to help you
  • Depressed, overwhelmed, angry
  • Stressed
  • Confused, frustrated, isolated

Employee Resources

Employee Assistance Program resources are available through the medical plan with UnitedHealthcare (for participants in the medical plan) and through the long term disability (LTD) program with The Standard Insurance Company (for participants in the LTD plan). Provided below is information on both programs:

  1. UnitedHealthcare: Confidential short-term telephone counseling services and referrals for more extended care are available by contacting UnitedHealthcare at the phone number on the back of the ID card, which is 1.888.847.4274.
  2. The Standard Insurance Company: Confidential telephone consultation with an experienced master's degreed clinician and three in-person sessions for each issue. Participants can contact a representative at 1.888.293.6948 to speak with a clinician and/or arrange a referral.


  • National Domestic Violence Hotline: 1 800.799 SAFE
  • NYS Coalition Against Domestic Violence: 1800 942.6906
  • NYS Domestic Violence Hotline: 1 800 621.HOPE


  • Safe Horizon Rape Crisis Hotline (212) 227-3000
  • NYC Gay and Lesbian Anti-Violence Project (212) 714-1141
  • Victims Of Violent Assault Assistance Program (212) 562-3755
  • Brooklyn Community Program (718) 928-6950
  • DOVE (Domestic and Other Violence Emergencies) New York Presbyterian Hospital (212) 305-3569
  • SAVI (Sexual Assault and Violence Intervention Program) Mt. Sinai Hospital, Manhattan (212) 423-2140 or Queens (718) 736-1288

Old Westbury:

  • Nassau County Rape Hotline (516) 222-2293
  • Long Island Gay and Lesbian Youth, Inc (631) 665-2300
  • NASSAU County Safe Center of LI: (516) 542-0404
  • Suffolk Coalition Against Domestic Violence: (631) 666-8833

Title IX Support

When should I contact Title IX support staff?
Any student, staff, or faculty member, or applicant for admission who has concerns about sex discrimination or sexual misconduct, including stalking, is encouraged to seek the assistance of the Title IX Coordinator (faculty and staff) or the Deputy Title IX Coordinator (students and applicants).

If I contact Title IX support staff, will my confidentiality be maintained?
NYIT will maintain the confidentiality of the complaint to the greatest extent possible, consistent with the law and NYIT's goal of conducting a thorough and complete investigation. Efforts will be made to safeguard the privacy and rights of all persons involved.

If you feel like you have been a victim of domestic or dating violence, please contact a Title IX administrator.

Title IX Coordinator

Cheryl Monticciolo
Director, Compliance & Title IX Coordinator
President's Office
Tower House, Room 106
Old Westbury, NY 11568

Deputy Title IX Coordinator for faculty and staff

Carol Jablonsky
Senior Director
President's Office/Chief of Staff
Human Resources
North House, Room 202
Old Westbury, NY 11568

Legal Services


  • Campus Security 646.273.7789
  • Victim Services 24 hour Hotline (212) 577-7777
  • New York City District Attorney's Special Victim's Bureau (212) 335-9373
  • Brooklyn (Sex Crimes Bureau) (718) 250-3170
  • Bronx (718) 590-2115
  • Queens (718) 286-6505
  • Staten Island (718) 556-7125

Old Westbury:

  • Campus Security 516.686.7789
  • Nassau County Special Victim's Squad (516) 573-8055
  • Nassau County District Attorney's Sex Crimes Unit (516) 571-1266

Additional Help:

  • New York State Crime Victim's Board 1 (800) 247-8035
  • National Center for Victims of Crime 1-800-FYI-CALL